The funny thing about lodges and campgrounds and other places people go to get away from other people is how friendly they all seem to be.  In every National Park or Forest, everyone is as neighborly as someone from a 1950’s sitcom.  The reality is just a touch different though.  The reality is that behind that glowing smile, hearty “hello” and generally happy façade is the subtext that they are only being nice to you because they hope you choose to eat them last.  We’ve been trained from birth to take “Stranger Danger!” seriously except in the wilderness where it’s more like “Stranger Negotiation!” because we don’t know what Facebook photo they’ll use to describe our gruesome death on television.

“He seemed so friendly in the woods, but when grilled over an open flame he was bitter and tough. Probably needed ketchup or maybe a nice marinade.”