I’ve been tweeting about vaginas all day—did you know the plural of vagina isn’t in the Firefox spellchecker? As if you haven’t ever had to write about multiple vaginas. Anyway, I’ve been shedding followers on Twitter at the same rate as when I get on a gay rights Twitter soapbox—long live the heteropatriarchy :(. I find it’s a nice way to liberate the mean people from following me as well as get my point across.
When I was in grad school even though I was taking classes like “Postcolonial Feminism,” I never really thought of myself as a feminist—I think my normalizing of biological objectification (boobs are awesome) rejected me from the expected conceptualization of dry humorless feminism—but didn’t remove me from thinking genders had different worldviews that were/are distinct but more than equal. I never thought the concept of equality to be radical in 2012. But apparently that’s the case, since I never though a radio host would call our current president a monkey, that a legislature would want to ban the word vagina, or that a professionally marginal comic would want to proclaim that women are less funny than men.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people?
Maybe it’s because I attended an amazing liberal arts undergrad institution called Hiram College. I know a lot of people that went through the growing pains of learning feminism or other “equality philosophies” in freshman[sic] year where you are exposed to a lot of philosophy and theory but don’t have the cognitive skills to understand, nor express, your knew found beliefs without being marginalized as a Rush Limbaugh “FemiNazi.” Teaching some postmodern thought when I was in grad school taught me a lot about the the challenges of this pitfall. There isn’t a lot of time to develop a functional ideology without getting branded as a wack job Instead, at Hiram you were provided a rational environment to think through what works about gender, race, nationality theories, and how to articulate this to people so they understand. But apparently, most people aren’t provided this opportunity—at least if you talk to anyone in the screaming Mainstream Media or the We Aren’t Mainstream Media but really are.
What’s the point of this? Gay Rights and vaginas aren’t dangerous (well that is if you’ve never been punched upside the head with a vagina—talk about a “funcussion”) nor is having a black president. If you think for one second that your perspective is formed by intellectually flawed historical norms rather than something rational, then maybe you should reevaluate the words that come out of your fucking pie hole.
Anyway, I’m cranky because as an enlightened society (remember the Enlightenment happened motherfuckers) we should be solving real problems instead of dealing with bullshit.
So if we are going to deal with bullshit, how about y’all find me a new follower every time someone unfollows me on Twitter for getting angry about sexism, racism or homophobia.
The New York Post published an interview with Adam Carolla on Sunday in which he said, among other things, “dudes are funnier than chicks,” and, regarding writing for television, “they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff.”
Day 1- Take all your clothes off and look at yourself in the harshest lit mirror in your entire house. If you don’t have one of these, my gym has one and I’m quite certain you have to be naked to be in the locker room anyways so don’t worry. Make sure you bend over a lot if you do use my gym….
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