As promised, here is a free sample track from my upcoming comedy album, BAMF. You’ll soon understand why there will be a slight delay in release as we work to clean up some of the unanticipated background noise. The album is actually a series of recordings from different shows and venues. This particular track was recorded in front of an audience of 300 in a ball room, so unfortunately there was a lot of extraneous chatter. But the show itself was fantastic. I couldn’t have asked for a better reception. I hope you enjoy this small sample. I’ll let you know when the entire thing is available on iTunes. Thanks for listening!
1. Tomorrow night, after a wonderful day watching pretend Scottish men toss cabers while I eat faux Scottish food, I’m headed to a bachelor party. I will probably be out by 10:30 because while I do love me the boobs, I’ll freely admit that I’m not really a fan of strip clubs.
2. Sometimes Follow Friday on Twitter bothers me. It’s not because I don’t get a bunch of follow recommendations (because I don’t), but because of the desperation of some people to kiss up, and, more importantly, the reminder that while I’ve met many amazing individuals via Social Media, it stills makes me feel like I haven’t really connected with people. I totally know that isn’t true – I’ve met many amazing and wonderful people since leaving Cleveland—but for whatever reason I seem keep them at arm’s length, and then sigh loudly when the reality that I keep them at a distance has ramifications that play out.
3. I know my Tumblr pals could give a fuck about Twitter and the previous lament, and that’s while I like y’all. Nearly all my Tumblr connections have forsaken Twitter (except for Liz and Mr. WW) and that’s cool.
4. I can’t help but feel joy every time Jessica posts another picture of her and Jason’s baby. Not because I like baby photos, but because I can almost feel her happiness exploding from my monitor. That means something wonderful.
5. Fiona and I are going to wade back into the pet world in August. We are going to get another cat (obviously) and (hopefully) a female corgi mix dog. Yeah, a dog! DOG! I’m excited to get a dog. Our preference is a corgi, but honestly some mangy-ass mutt is going to break our hearts and we are going to bring him or her home.
6. (I know, I can’t fucking count). I hope y’all are doing well and if you aren’t getting what you want in life, do something about it. Or at least try. Or get someone to kick your ass if you can’t try on your own.
7. I hate that I have to write everything in Word to hopefully catch the typos and such, then post it into Notepad to strip out the XML coded layer in Word 2010, and then paste it into Tumblr and reformat the whole thing. It’s like filing a blog post in triplicate.
Well apparently those assholes at Twtvite let me set up an event without telling me their service is no longer free. So, I will have to figure something out in terms of free RSVP’s. Please hang in there while I figure this out.
Also, holy shit!!!! I can’t wait to meet you in person.
Update 7/16/2012: Hi Folks- a little update here and a reminder that the Minnesota State Fair tweet-up is only six weeks away! Most of the information remains the same, I’ll start looking at hotels, either for a block of rooms, or a specific “book here” option very shortly. I’d just like to see a few more out of town confirmations. However, we will be staying in downtown Minneapolis.
If you are not squeamish about trains, the Light Rail here is fantastic and will get you from the Airport to downtown Minneapolis and back to the Mall of America if you want. There will be shuttles all weekend running to and from the fair, so you don’t need to worry about that either. Basically, what I am saying here is that you don’t have to rent a car.
Fiona will be setting up State Fair bingo (“Bib overalls with a nose ring! Bingo!” for us to play. And, we are getting the rest of the weekend’s events together. To get you salivating, here’s a list of the new foods at the fair this year.
There have been numerous requests for the Twin Cities folks to host a Minnesota State Fair Tweet-Up. Deep Fried Twitter if you will. The Minnesota State Fair is amazing. It’s the second largest state fair in attendance next to Texas, although those southerners are open for ten more days. You can just get about anything on a stick from deep fried Snickers, to bacon, to beer to even more delicious things that will make you ever forget the corndog was once the zenith of food on a stick food deployment technology. Also, butter sculptures, bands that you weren’t embarrassed to listen to decades ago, plenty of beer and just about the right amount of animal poo.
So we would love to have you join us. Information on the tentative plan is below. If there’s enough interest, I will organize a group rate for a hotel in downtown Minneapolis. Don’t fret, even though the events are spread out, the public transportation is excellent and the cabs are plentiful. There is no reason to need a car.
When - Friday, August 24 through Sunday, August 26
Friday Night -Mackenzie’s Pub. Visit my favorite pub in the Twin Cities with a fantastic deck, a boiling hot upstairs they’ll let us have to ourselves and the best beer and Scotch selection in the Minneapolis.
Saturday Afternoon until 10 or 11 PM - THE MINNESOTA STATE FAIR plan on dinner, drinks, lots of walking and billions of the most adorable Nigerian goats you could ever want to see. Also, tons of other stuff to do and see. Also, with all the foods to sample, it’s best to have friends you can share things with - antibiotics for your selection of Internet friends not included.
Late Saturday Night -A Bar (not yet planned). Just because you have indigestion and your feet hurt doesn’t mean the party is over. Wash the State Fair down with some Jack and Coke and maybe some behavior you’ll regret.
Sunday Morning - Possibly brunch at Ike’s. I’m told their Bloody Mary, called The Weekender, is one of the wonders of the modern world. Here’s the description from the website: “A 20oz. drink made to order with Smirnoff Vodka, Sacramento Tomato juice, Tabasco Sauce, horseradish, L&P Worcestershire Sauce, salt and pepper. The glass is rimmed with Kosher Salt and Celery Salt then garnished with a celery stalk, pickled asparagus spear and lime wedge. The whole thing is topped off with a skewer of pepperonicini, black olive, green olive, cocktail onion, baby dill pickle and American cheese. And, as if this weren’t enough, it comes accompanied by another skewer of chilled shrimp and spicy smoked beef stick." Why there is cheese in your drink, I don’t know, but it’s Minnesota so you should just roll with it.
Anyway, that’s the rough plan right now. As anyone who has ever worked with me knows, I make the damn trains run on time - so don’t worry if some details are missing at the moment. I’ll make sure they are solidified sooner rather than later. Also, please feel free to spread the word. A happy Tweet-Up is an attended Tweet-Up.