So @jackmackenroth is either the funniest gay man on Twitter or the gayest funny man on Twitter, I’m not sure which. That said, I love Jack for two reasons… 1. He’s hilariously funny and 2. he *might* be the only person on Twitter that can beat me at dodge ball (the kind with red utility balls inflated to 10 lbs). Side note: I didn’t watch Jack on TV, but my wife loves him for it and I keep promising to check out his greatest hits from Bravo on YouTube. If you aren’t following @jackmackenroth go do it now….Unless you are a dude in the GOP and then follow him and deny it.
Here are 13 of my favorites because 10 just aren’t enough.
1. Apparently weed is considered a gateway drug. That explains how I got to Narnia.
2. Girl on subway puts on a full face of make up and no one even looks. I pull out one eyelash curler and I’m the freak.
3. You: “I called, texted, emailed, facebooked and tweeted you.” Me: “So weird. I didn’t get them because I hate you.”
4. We all know the dangers of mixing sleeping pills and alcohol but the real danger is sleeping pills and laxatives.
5. Sorry it ended this way. I will always cherish the overidealized misconception I had of you.
6. Give a man fire and he’s warm for a while but set him on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.
7. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a shovel.
8. One thing that the Tea Party and us homos have in common is that we don’t want them raising their kids near us either.
9. I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year. It runs ok, but every now and then it falls apart.
10. Odds are if you’re a ‘chubby chaser’, you probably wont have to run too far.
11. No matter what that Chinese character tattoo means in English it still says “douche” in every language.
12. I wear the high-wasted capri pants in this relationship.
13. I’m not sure why they use the term ‘sex kitten’ because every time I’ve tried I just get red eyes and scratches.
This morning I was at a continuing legal education (“CLE”) seminar. I was supposed to be there all day, but after about 30 minutes, I realized that I wasn’t going to make it past the morning. It was a symposium at a local law school about ethics and professionalism in the law - a potentially…
And I wondered why we weren’t having frog’s legs for dinner.
Rich dudes, AMIRITE? How did people like The Koch brothers and Rupert Murdoch manage to convince so many middle and lower class people that the interests of rich people were the best thing for everyone?
It’s simple; they pitted us against each other using their money. Paying politicians to do…
That if you gave me and BDGarp a bottle of whiskey and MrWordsWorth all you could drink pop…Then set us up on a stage with some decent audio equipment, we could hold a course in the history of Rock & Roll.
So I did a PowerPoint (Jesus Christ really?) based on my Tweets from Minnesota State Fair experiences the last two years. I suck ass at pimping myself out so just let me give you a shy “would you please give it a look?” Is that cool with y’all?