So picking ten tweets from my fellow Buckeye @yoyoha is like asking me what’s my favorite food on a stick at the Minnesota State Fair—I just look at you with a blinded paralysis. I think if you aggregated the metric shit ton of stars I’ve given out in a year and a half on Twitter I think Josh is right up there with @TheBosha for most stars given. There’s a reason for that. Check out his Favstar page or find him out on Witstream (you guys are still under represented in the I’s *hint*) and see what I mean.
Here aren’t the ten best, but the first ten I found before wetting myself:
1. Leaving a cup of water next to a plant then letting it die shows the rest of the plants in the house I’m not about to put up with their shit
2. “Eat her already!” - Animal watching people kissing
3. If the internet was a wedding reception, Twitter would be outside smoking cigarettes.
4. I wonder if women can sense the sadness in a back rub that has no chance of sex attached to it.
5. “I AM THE FASTEST DOG IN THE WORLD” - what I like to think a dog is thinking when it hangs its head out of the car window
6. They say people chew ice cubes when they’re sexually frustrated. Related: In high school I ate a glacier.
7. “I can’t believe they signed my name to that card, I hate that asshole” - Pets
8. I wish there was a way I could hurt this fly emotionally instead of just killing it.
9. I hate when my wife thinks I don’t care about whatever she was just talking about.
10. Mowing would be more fun if grass screamed a little.