So I don’t actually think @tamytoo2 could drink me under the table, but I sure as hell think she’d give me a good run for my money. Anyway, she’s pretty prolific and rather funny as you can see from her Favstar page.
Below are 10 of my favorites, although there are plenty more:
1. “Woman in front of me at the grocery bought 18 bags of marshmallows, a carton of smokes, and a quart of gin. We exchanged numbers.”
2. “It’s where me and 1000 people I don’t know discuss our genitals” -Me explaining Twitter to Dad
3. “At my age, saying “I’d hit that” usually involves a pillow.”
4. “Some guy at Safeway: “You are buying beer at 10:00?” Me: slowly and deliberately putting more in my cart without breaking eye contact.”
5. “Making someone laugh is one thing, making someone laugh so hard they fart is a true gift.”
6. “My goal here: when I die, people will look back on my tweets and say ‘well, it was probably for the best’”
7. “Oh hell, I should have been clearer with my pest control guy, my whole family appears to be missing.”
8. “I just saw a woman at the store with a belly ring that I bet doubles as a trailer hitch.”
9. “My dog just told me I might have gone a little heavy on the Vicodin today.”
10. “My best friend can knock back a 12 pack before noon, her name is ‘Me’”
I am a huge Communications geek as well. Was the class a general public speaking course or something more nuanced? Also, still in awe over that PowerPoint tweet you had. I want to give it 15 trophies.
Totally going to geek out here (I apologize in advance).
First off thank you so much. To be honest I’m in awe of the response that tweet received. It’s most likely the only 100+ retweet I will ever have - so I’m pretty tweaked about it.
At the University of Maine, I taught Communication 103: Fundamentals of Public Communication. So sadly, I didn’t get to teach a more advanced version of public speaking although I would have loved the opportunity (Side Note: I’m ecstatic with the way my life turned out, my biggest regret in life is not going to Northwestern for my PhD when I had the chance—although I’d be living in the middle of nowhere teaching at some small ass school if I’d done that).
My Master’s is in Communication Theory with a focus in rhetoric. Studying speeches is something I did on a regular basis, but was never my focus. The short answer is that I worked in a field called “Rhetoric of Science” which always makes science people uncomfortable because of three things: 1. People that aren’t in hard sciences aren’t supposed to be able to read what they right. 2. Anyone that analyzes bias in “hard science” has to be an A-Hole. 3. Some people do bad scholarship and that ruins it for the rest of us.
My thesis did two things… looked at the way genetics changed the way popular media conceptualizes disease for a mass audience and I tried to rectify very applicable postmodern theory with extremely functional modernist criticism. To me that was fun.
Of course, I also watch speeches and public presentations on a regular basis and start to use multiple methods of criticism to break them down. This totally fucks me up on the average PowerPoint where there’s nothing but crap to examine. However, when you start breaking down speech writing to metaphor, effect, argument and all that other stuff… I geek out just as much as when the Browns run a well executed screen pass to the fullback.
As my parents continue to slowly move, I’ve been getting boxes of my old stuff shipped via UPS. Even though I haven’t thought of some of this stuff in well over a decade, it makes me sad when I realize they are closing a chapter on my life.
Out of all the stuff they sent, the most fun is all the Public Speaking textbooks from when we were evaluating texts while I was teaching at UMaine. It makes me a communication geek, but I love it.
Communications is a study of technological communication vehicles, Communication is the study of how humans (and animals) communicate.
I once moved 10 times in 11 years, so I’m totally digging on the stability in my life now.
I never thought I’d use the word stability in a positive statement about myself.
I love Twitter as an outlet for my short bursts of creativity (and being rewarded for it) and I love reading what other people write, but this drama is a fucking drag. I wish people would get back to putting their head down and trying to write creative jokes.
I should probably spend more time on Tumblr. Even though I mostly lurk over here, I hope you know I appreciate y’all
If you are following me here, but have a different name than on Twitter, just let me know. I’m not quick to follow back on Tumblr or Twitter but sometimes I just don’t know it’s you.
Yes, everyone loves and already follows @MeetingBoy and his tweets spread like wildfire across Twitter. But that’s because they are funny and really manage to capture things we all think or feel at work. My personal hatred is PowerPoint. I spent the better part of a decade working with IBM, HP, Oracle and other major IT organizations who believe the more text you could put on a slide and the more total slides in the presentation, the better it was. It makes a man want to cry.
Now, every morning when I get up, I read another day on my MeetingBoy calender and laugh knowingly, because someone else has the same thoughts I do. So here you go, Ten Top PowerPoint tweets from MeetingBoy (also, a special extra non-PowerPoint tweet because it’s funny and it’s my list):
1. “Of course it wasn’t convincing. That 60-slide PowerPoint wasn’t to convince people, it was to break their will.”
2. “When you use hand sanitizer 4 times during a 30-minute PowerPoint presentation, the rest of us wonder what you’re doing under the table.”
3. “Don’t pity the blind man, for he has never seen PowerPoint.”
4. “When my grandchildren ask what happened to the trees, I won’t lie. I’ll say “status reports and PowerPoint presentations”.”
5. “125 PowerPoint slides? Well, I hope you’re not presenting a case for how efficient our department is.”
6. “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t invent PowerPoint.”
7. “It only takes 4 slides to explain how an atomic bomb works, so please stop calling your 72 slides “an overview”.”
8. “The creator of PowerPoint must be rolling over in his grave right about now. What? They’re not dead? I’ll be right back.”
9. “China may have a great economy now, but let’s see how they do when they get PowerPoint.”
10. “Like it or not, if we outlaw PowerPoint, then only criminals will have PowerPoint.”
11. “THE BRONX ZOO SNAKE HAS BEEN FOUND. Which is great news, because i’ve killed at least 14 black extension cords since Monday.”
Follow Friday has become a repetitive cycle that a significant number of folks have come to dread rather than look forward to. It’s become an unrelenting series of #FF lists and #FF thank you tweets and isn’t much fun at all. A few months ago, I had a conversation with the esteemed @juicymorsel about the problems with Follow Friday and out of that RoastFriday developed.
RoastFriday is a simple idea. No one typically follows Friday recommendations, so let’s have some fun with it. It’s an opportunity to turn the daily snark at ourselves and have a laugh or six, rather than quickly skimming over a bunch of #FF posts. I know the last two RoastFriday events I actually used the Twitter search functionality to actively hunt down roasts. TwiterHero has made this easier now with his Chirp Story and RoastFriday List – Check them both out.
Now, I am not one to tell anyone to Tweet, but here are a few things to keep in mind regarding RoastFriday.
1. We are only doing RoastFriday the first Friday of every month to spur creativity. A weekly cycle of Roasts would make it dull and repetitive quickly. This is an opportunity to showcase good stuff. It’s also a good way to get noticed if you are killing it.
2. Please don’t feel the need to thank people (publically or via DM) for RoastFriday tweets. Seriously, read that last sentence again. That’s part of the obligation of Follow Friday that makes it such a drag. If you like a Roast, go ahead and slap a star or nod on it. If you really like a Roast, retweet it and give the author some exposure. If you really feel the need to thank someone beyond that, roast them back. It’s that easy.
3. Try not to get your feelings hurt, the people Roasting you are trying to show their love—even if it might occasionally be misguided.
4. Have fun with it. It’s a chance to let your favorite tweeters know you appreciate them and to bring a laugh on a day that is littered with mundane tweets.
Anyway, I’m not one to ask for retweets and such, but feel free to share this. We’d love to get as much exposure as possible since the more active participants we have, the more opportunities we have to do fun things.
…. with my semester. And I’m taking the summer off! In the last week, I’ve written an 11 page exam on Network Security, heavily edited and wrote most of a 20 page group paper on mobile banking (and put together the PowerPoint presentation), and did the majority of the work on a 22 page Knowledge Management group paper. In other words, I’ve been writing my fucking ass off (although the weight doesn’t go away, it just migrates around to my belly).
Now, I am going to have a beer and relax. Hopefully tomorrow I will start to find my funny on Twitter again. No promises though…it’s been a bit of a drought apparently.